Rates starting as low as 100/monthEmail Jason@eaglemagazine.com or call 473-1461
"As perimenopause begins, your ovaries are tired of taking orders, so they decide to reduce the production of estrogen. "Attention All Sectors! Estrogen is leaving the body. Farewell party at noon in the pituitary gland." Then all hell breaks loose and you start to experience symptoms of menopause. The fact that you live through this chaos is definite proof of your magnificence. A lesser species would have become extinct millions of years ago."
"It's a rather cruel trick of nature that you could be raising teenagers and caring for aging parents while your Generalissimo Estrogen is barking orders at your female parts and your Busy Bee Progesterones are frantically fixing up the uterus for the Sperm and Egg Combo."
"You start losing hair on your head but notice mini-redwoods growing from your chin and dark hair sprouting on your toes like a mini Chia pet. No more steak for you! And, hairy toes will just not go with those kicky new sandals!"
"Remember when you would stroll into a crowded room and suddenly all activity stopped while every man stared and whispered, "Wow, that's one sexy babe!" Neither do I. However, I do remember walking into a glamorous cocktail party and bumping into a waiter carrying a huge tray of martinis. We both ended up on the floor drenched in gin, shaken but not stirred. The only action I got that night was when the hapless waiter plucked an olive from my cleavage."
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